Coping with sleep anxiety as a new mother

Welcoming a new life into the world is an exhilarating experience for any parent, but it comes with its fair share of challenges. One such challenge that often affects new mothers is sleep anxiety. I like to think that I was well prepared for motherhood, especially the awareness of sleepless nights. However, what I wasn’t prepared for was the anxiety around sleep that would build up. For me, the lack of consistency and uncertainty became a daily struggle. Even on nights when Ruby was sleeping through or well, I couldn’t help but overthink what the night ahead would be like. Unsure if Ruby was going to wake in 1 hour, 3 hours or maybe 8 caused me to always prepare for the worst-case scenario; tossing and turning in bed wondering when she’ll wake up and missing out on much-needed me time, quality couple time or productive work time.

"Sleep anxiety is a common challenge faced by many new mums."

The combination of sleep deprivation and heightened responsibilities can create a perfect storm for anxiety, making it difficult to find restful sleep. In this blog post, I explore the causes of sleep anxiety for new mums and provide practical tips to help you reclaim those precious restful moments.

The Root of Sleep Anxiety for New Mums

Sleep anxiety among new mums is typically triggered by a combination of factors. First and foremost, the unpredictable sleep patterns of newborns can leave you feeling exhausted and unable to establish a regular sleep routine. This constant state of alertness and the fear of missing your baby's needs can lead to heightened anxiety during the night.

Additionally, hormonal changes after childbirth can contribute to emotional swings and increased anxiety. The weight of new responsibilities, coupled with a lack of sleep, can intensify feelings of anxiety, making it difficult to relax and fall asleep when the opportunity arises.

Practical Tips for Managing Sleep Anxiety

Sleep anxiety among new mums is typically triggered by a combination of factors. First and foremost, the unpredictable sleep patterns of newborns can leave you feeling exhausted and unable to establish a regular sleep routine. This constant state of alertness and the fear of missing your baby's needs can lead to heightened anxiety during the night.

1. Accept Help and Share Responsibilities As a new mum, it's essential to recognise that you don't have to shoulder all the responsibilities alone. Accept help from your partner, family, or friends, and share the load of baby care duties. Having someone to assist with settling, nappy changes or feeds if possible can provide you with much-needed rest.

2. Understand Your Needs

Before becoming a mum I needed 8 hours of sleep to function. However, now if I get 6 hours of sleep, even if it’s broken sleep I know I can perform at my best. By understanding what my body needs, managing my expectations and adjusting my routine accordingly I’ve been able to reduce my anxiety around sleep significantly.

3. Get Comfortable with the Unknown

It’s taken me many months but I’ve learnt to let go of what I can’t control. Listen to your gut and do what you feel is right for you in the moment. Just because your baby has finally gone down, don’t pressure yourself to go to bed if it’s not what you feel you need. You might benefit from sitting with a cup of tea, watching a movie with your partner or catching up on work. Of course, you may finally get yourself to bed only for your baby to wake up, but if you’re making decisions based on what fills your cup up, you won’t ever feel disappointed.

"You can't pour from an empty cup, take care of yourself first."

4. Establish a Relaxing Bedtime Routine Create a soothing bedtime routine that signals your body that it's time to wind down. This may include activities like reading a book, taking a warm bath, or practising relaxation techniques such as box breathing or gentle stretches.

5. Manage Your Worries It's natural for new mums to worry about their baby's well-being. Consider keeping a journal to jot down your thoughts and concerns before bedtime, allowing you to release your worries and focus on relaxation.

6. Seek Support

Don't hesitate to reach out to other new mums, either in-person or through online support groups. Sharing experiences and tips with others going through similar situations can be tremendously comforting.

In short, sleep anxiety is a common challenge faced by many new mums, but it's essential to remember that you are not alone in this journey. By understanding the root causes of sleep anxiety and implementing practical strategies, you can gradually reclaim your peaceful rest and improve your overall well-being. Prioritise self-care, seek support and remember that with time, both you and your baby will settle into a more predictable routine, allowing you to find balance and joy in this new chapter of motherhood.